Before you had kids, you thought tantrums were preventable. You probably thought they were the parents’ fault. You may have even thought they had some kind of logic behind them. You thought that if a kid is throwing a tantrum, it’s becauseĀ something happened.

Now, of course, you know better.

Being Supermom means recognizing which factors in your kids’ lives are under your control — and which aren’t. (Pro tip: Most aren’t.) And when it comes to tantrums? They’re completely out of your control. The truth is, toddlers need tantrums like preschoolers need costumes. Tantrums aren’t caused by outside factors. They’re triggered by something deep within your toddler, a buildup of emotion and frustration and inability to eat an endless supply of M&M’s. All this sadness has to come out eventually. The tantrum trigger is just an excuse.

Which is why toddlers will tantrum over, well, anything. Here are just a few important and valid reasons why your toddler is throwing a tantrum.

1. Her hair is too shiny.
2. The dog is too soft.
3. Her friend is taller than her.
4. Her friend is shorter than her.
5. Water is wet.
6. Pee is wet.
7. The air smells bad.
8. Flowers smell good.
9. Her imaginary cat stole her chair.
10. Her invisible friend is using her toy.
11. The pink shirt that she chose to wear this morning is still pink.
12. Her red shoes are not purple.
13. It’s sunny today.
14. It’s raining today.
15. It’s cloudy today.
16. Weather exists.
17. Dust motes exist.
18. She is not a butterfly.
19. Time is unidirectional.
20. She has fingernails.
21. Her juice cup is still exactly where she left it.
22. She has a new toy.

But fear not: your toddler is perfectly normal. I’m not the only one who’s noticed this phenomenon. And there’s one sure-fire cure for toddler tantrums, a cure with 100% success rate. It doesn’t even take any effort on your part. Unfortunately, it does take time. A lot of time. About five years. They grow out of toddler tantrums by then, just in time to graduate to teen tantrums, which at least have a semi-logical reason behind them.

Can’t wait that long? You’ll just have to treat the symptoms. Take one glass of wine and hide in the closet. Call me in the morning.

Photo by mdanys

1 Comments

AnnaJuly 2, 2013 1:00 am

Love this šŸ™‚ I frequently get tantrums over the wrong bowl or plate color.

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